New Kid on the Block

BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT!!! CLICK HERE DAMNIT!!!

Fixed the link, try it now.


Yeah, William has a new friend. I'm not going to rank his cuteness because I'll piss off some parent somewhere, but he's cute, and if you are that touchy about the cuteness of your baby it's probably ugly.

Wow, lack of sleep makes you kinda sh*tty. If you are a child and are reading this, the * should be replaced with an i. Now go tell your parents they are doing a sh*tty job of keeping you from viewing inappropriate web sites.

Just doing my part to help raise the mouth breathers of the world. Wow, I am in a mood. Could have something to do with young Wilhelm "THE SCREAMING FECES MACHINE" having an absolute meltdown the last two nights. I swear you'd think someone had stabbed him in the head the way he was screaming.

Mary isn't sleeping, I'm not sleeping, and God himself probably can't get any sleep for all the noise this child makes. I will admit that it is getting better. He's only getting us up 2 times a night at this point, but he won't allow us to sleep till midnight. THANK GOD, FOR ALCHOHOL!!! I'm drinking till one of us stops crying. He and I play drink the beer, I win everytime.

On another note, I have been productive around the house. I'll save that for another post because "BABY BITCH-A-LOT" [{(Mary's term, not mine, and Mattel if you are reading this, don't make and sell a doll by that name, we have intellectual property rights damnit) however feel free to throw cash at us, we are in need of funds to fuel our new dependence on wine coolers and Keystone} hell, who am I kidding, we just want a by-line and some creative input on the final product, ya know, something along the line of the color of the poop and the arc of the urine stream] seems to be asleep at the moment. Am I abusing parenthesis, brackets, and other punctual functions? Yes I am.

YES, I am aware that I am slaughtering the English language and that this verbal depletion will lead us into the Apocolypse.

NO, I don't give a sh*t. And little kids who followed my advice from earlier in this post should have nice warm butt cheeks and revoked internet privileges.