Fat Tuesday...

... and I mean artery clogging fat. Mary and I fell of our diets over the last week, and tomorrow being Ash Wednesday we are going back on them hot and heavy, to get cool and lean. Sorry, I know that was a bad joke, you have permission to smack my hand when next we meet if you choose to do so.

So on Fat Tuesday you're supposed to really blow it out because tomorrow Lent is upon us and we give up something we like. Well, we decided to have some greasy burgers. Mary called in to Skinny's (I can't believe they don't have a website) and asked me what I wanted. Seeing as I've only had Skinny's once before, and that was probably 2 years ago, I forgot about the portions. I tell Mary to get me a Bacon Double Cheeseburger. Yes, I capitalized it and you're about to find out why.

IT WAS A WHOLE FREAKING POUND OF FRIED UP GROUND COW!!!

Probably a cow that didn't have a gun.

This thing is comical in it's proportions. Eat it like a sandwich? Only if my jaw is double jointed! This was mashed flat and it was still over 2 inches thick. Of course the bread was a joke. I'm sure it tasted good, but after absorbing enough grease to turn the buns clear (no, I'm not exagerating) they were freaking great! Bacon? Try 8 pieces. Cheese? Swiss, 2 pieces instead of one. Add to this a double order of chili cheese tater tots covered in garlic ranch dressing...

... I'm still miserable full.

I'm looking forward to the diet, because diet food may not taste anywhere near as good, but it doesn't make you're heart beat faster and get you short of breath the way Skinny's does.

Bring on the ham sandwich, I am ready.