Day 3, I'm Da Man

16 hours ago I woke up, kissed my wife, and started my day. Today's plan was to tile the backsplash, and paint the cabinets. We had mixed results. My dad was kind enough to offer help. This meant he was willing to drive 150 miles to help me with my kitchen, then drive 150 miles back home. I'm proud he's my dad, thats just the kind of guy he his, in short my hero. I declined his offer due to the fact that we have a galley kitchen that is tough enough for two people to cook in, much less work on remodeling in. I can't thank him enough for the offer.

So I start mixing up my thin set. This is a bit of an art. I've done this a time or two before though and it wasn't too tough. Because I was tiling a vertical surface it had to be thick and sticky, without being thick and dry. At this point when you want to add a bit of moisture, you're better off spitting in the bucket instead of pouring in too much water. I must say, I'm good at this because all my tiles stuck to the wall, didn't sag or wiggle out of alignment, or any of those unpleasant things that can cause a man to behave like a toddler (and yes, I have thrown a tantrum or two during this mess).



Sad to say, we lost a good friend today. Cheap Orange Bucket has been with me since I really started doing any sort of remodeling and was quite reliable. He cost me a buck fifty a couple of years back and was always there when I needed him. He never complained about being stored in the heat, carrying all sorts of tools, and getting beaten around by my industrial mixer. Alas today the industrial mixer got the better of him. He held together long enough for me to mix up the thinset, and get all the wall tiles set. Upon clean up, I found a mortal wound on my trusted friend. The mixer tore a 3 inch hole in his side. He held just enough water for me to finish cleaning up my tools. What a trooper. Old friend, you will be missed. Should you feel moved by this loss, feel free to send any monetary donations to me via the Cheap Orange Bucket memorial fund. Maybe we'll raise enough to purchase another bucket.



As I was finishing up all my cuts for trimming around the window I realized I must possess the same sort of amnesia that women have when they agree to have a second child. I HATE laying tile. I especially HATE laying tile on a vertical surface. Enough time passes, and you forget how the thinset drys out your hands until they feel like they are going to split, how the thinset sticks to everything and cannot be wiped off, how the stuff drys out and has to be constantly restirred, and how the wetsaw sprays your crotch with a mixture of water and clay particles so it looks like you pee'd some brown stuff in your pants. But enough time passes and your spouse reminds you of how much you enjoy the tile, how nice it looks, and what a good job you did last time. So you forget all the pains it caused and leap back into the fray. Women, we're suckers.



Anyway, my inlaws are remodeling their kitchen as well and needed some assistance this afternoon. Well, in reality they needed the help this morning, but I couldn't get free till around 5pm. Sorry guys. I'll not go into the details of their remodel because A) Not my house B) You don't care. After a satisfying dinner of Whataburger we were back at the house and the tile was calling.



Grout, gotta say this stuff is a pain in the ass. You have to mix it just so. In fact its more critcal than the thinset. Too much water and it won't go around the tiles, cause it just runs. Too dry and you can't pack it into the gaps around the tile. You're striving for a consistancy like damp sand, but not too damp, but not too dry. In other words it is a pain in the ass. I finished my grouting, cleaned up the tiles (because when you grout, it looks like you covered the whole wall in mud, and I mean the water and dirt kind), and buffed them, I put on the cover plate for my new GFCI outlet.



Even my wife agrees, I got SKILLS.
Gotta say, I'm good.