Fatherhood = Eternal Drowsy

Alright, I've been a parent for exactly 1 week. I now know absolutely nothing about being a parent, other than you don't sleep much any more. Also you don't wear anything nice around your kid, ever.

Wilhelm has got a nasty reach with his urine cannon. Booger got me from the far end of the kitchen while getting a bath. Oh, and bathing a baby is a giant waste of time. Unless that kid is sticky and visibly dirty, let em roll on another day. Its not worth the wee in the face or the ruined duds.

We are also proud owners of a product known as the diaper genie. Whoever the genius who invented this is, should have the freakin Nobel Peace Prize. It is basically a plastic intestine that you put a dirty diaper into, twist the case and it seals off the diaper. Wilhelm doesn't have swamp ass yet, but we are ready for that day, or as ready as a clueless father can be.

Oh, also I can honestly say, my kid's sh*t don't stink! I'm holding out hope it stays that way for a few more days.

Yellow!?! Why is it yellow? Seriously, I'm talking school bus yellow.

So we are still plugging along, we haven't broken our kid, and he hasn't broken us yet.

Although I must admit to watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 lastnight while giving him a bottle and burping him. Does this make me a bad parent, or just someone with bad taste in movies?

Gotta go, Iron Chef is on, and tonight's secret ingredient is dirty diapers.