Alright, I wish I could get Japanese TV

Don't Sleep In Japan - video powered by Metacafe

Wow, I mean you take away a country's ability to wage war, pack way too many people on an earthquake prone island, and make them subject to attacks by giant lizards and robots, and they just turn on each other. The main thrust of the TV programing over there seems to be throw the other guy under the bus. Come to think of it, that might be the next clip I find. Maybe after that they'll substitute a guys sushi with a dog turd. What a mean bunch of people. The always seem to be smiling over here too. Makes me wonder if they are planning to attack again, or just want to hold casting calls stateside for more TV shows.

Sleep well tonight, but only if you don't have a Japanese neighbor.

Who are the crazies in your neighborhood?

So tonight I step outside with Mary to enjoy the cool air and feed my nicoteine habit. I look down the street to my neighbor's house because she's blaring some loud music out her open front door. Let me tell you about neighbor, and yes this is the one with the mean dog. She's middle aged, white, and dumb as a stone.

She's blaring THE TOADIES and BUTTHOLE SURFERS at obcene volume.
This in itself is pretty strange because she's usually so quiet. The next thing we know she comes staggering out of the house wearing a long t-shirt (and that was probably all, I wasn't going to check) and begins to trim her bushes in the front yard. She's trimming them with her BARE FREAKING HANDS! This is ocurring at 9:30 at night! Then she begins to dance and sway in the yard. I'm pretty sure if this had continued long enough we'd have gotten quite a show.

It took a couple of years, but we got another crazy, loony toon, neighbor who's probably a drunk as well. At least she was entertaining.

Just so you'll know

HERE IS WHY OUR SON IS NOT TO BE CALLED "WILLIE"

I jokingly called our son Willie and almost lost my life. Seriously, no sooner had those words left my mouth than a sub 5 foot woman cornered me in the kitchen, twisted my ear, and gave me "THE LOOK". We all know the look, and my wife being a teacher is a master of "THE LOOK". I dare say she's something of a Jedi when she employs "THE LOOK".



Artist's representation, in no way represents my actual wife, who is going to kill me tomorrow when she checks this blog and commits an act of homicide upon the author of said blog.

Mary: You don't ever want to call our son that do you?

Ben: I don't ever want to call our son that.

Mary: You will get back in the kitchen and make it new and beautiful.

Ben: I will get back in the kitchen and make it new and beautiful.

Mary: These aren't the droids you're looking for.

Ben: These aren't the droids we're looking for.

I swear on George Lucas' beer gut she's that good.

On other fronts, my good friend Paul is a father for the first time. His wife gave birth over the weekend to a 7lb 19.5 inch long man child. I'm so excited for them. I think I'll try to swing by and congratulate the new parents (and see just how bad this new born thing is). Oh yeah, the boy's name is Benjamin. I'm going to claim he's named after me until someone tells me otherwise. Paul, if you care to set the record straight, feel free to use the comment section. And again, congrats my friend, I'm excited for you, and I can't stop using commas, or keep from using run on sentences, or a whole host of other things that would get my degree revoked for abusing the English language.

On other fronts, the kitchen is coming along, slowly,,,,,,, love the commas. I'll try to get some pictures up tomorrow. Over the weekend I glued my counters down, installed my sink and dishwasher, and tonight I hooked up the water and drain lines. I must say, it was a spiritual experience when we turned on the water. I'm going to be father to a new kitchen before "WILLIAM" arrives.

Levitating Toilets, NOW... Rocket Chairs....

For those of you like laughing at Japanese people being thrust out the top of public toilets...

You should be ashamed. I mean we nuked them 60 years ago and now you're going to laugh at them baring ass on top of a toilet?

ME TOO!

I GIVE YOU!

ROCKET CHAIR!.

Make sure you're not drinking while watching this.

Poster is not responsible for damaged keyboards and monitors.

We are Ben

That is all

I'm busy, and too lazy to post.

Sorry

Alright, you don't come here for my emotional depth and maudlin thoughts. I blame it on the beer and grout dust that I inhaled while working. Funny thing about grout, its sand and dust that need water to turn into mud. If you inhale grout dust, for some reason you end up with rock lined nasal passages and boogers that require a jack hammer to remove. Always wear a dust mask, cause if not you won't be able to pick your nose anymore, and that'd be sad.

I don't speak Japanese, but I think you'll figure this one out. Let it load and enjoy. And stay away from portable toilets, especially at the beach.

POTTY HUMOR

William, I love you

It is 2am and I'm finished grouting my kitchen floor. It has been about 7 hours of knee aching hell but it is finished for now. Mary went to bed a few hour back, and I'm headed that way myself, but first I thought I'd air a few thoughts I've had while on my knees getting tired and dirty.

First off, I'm doing this because Mary and I can't stand the thought of our first born playing on these nasty floors, and I want to put a smooth surface down for little William to play with his Tonka trucks and How Wheel cars. I want these things for him because I love him. I haven't met him yet. I haven't seen him except in profile in a black and white sonogram, but I love him. I'll tear this whole house apart and build it again if needed for your health and well being.

I also love my father, William. He doesn't use that name, but my son will bear it and I'll be proud to call him as such. In my memory, my dad was always a man who did for himself and never found a challenge he couldn't overcome. I try to be the man I remember my father being when I was a child, and hope to set a good example for my son.

Two Williams, one my future, and the other my hero.

New Mexico, enjoy

I think it was here I told some backseat driver to shut up. They didn't so I locked the windows, turned on the heater and farted. Ha!

One of these guys isn't related to the other two. Can you guess which?

Now these are some pretty ladies. Queens of the Indian Casino, and Princesses of the Race Track. Yeah, I'm a suck up.

My father and mother inlaw. Right after this was taken she began trying to toss him over the rail. Don't know why...

My brother and sister inlaw. Sometimes they aren't able to join us for family get togethers, we were so glad they made the trip. We all had a blast.

What a good looking couple! Altitude and pregnant women, not such a good combination.

Bob learned his lesson and is staying away from the last railing before the mountain drops away.

Here is a shot of the valley and village of Ruidoso, also the road we drove up to get there. You don't get in a hurry in the mountains.

In case you didn't know, that is a Golden Eagle, and it was only about 30 feet above me. Nice huh?

The flowers in the foreground were full of bees.

The women doing what they do to take care of their men.

And the men showing how much they want to contribute to meal time.

You get bored on a 9 hour trip.

Chuck and Ellen were nice enough to spend most of the trip in the very back. My knees thank them very much!

My view pretty much the whole trip.

Gotta say the scenery is nice.

Pam: Look guys, rain things!

Mary: You mean clouds?

There its done and hope you enjoy.

I got in a fight with the house...

... and I gave it a titty twister, and made it cry uncle! Thats right, I've been productive and been successful at some more stuff. But first I'll get you caught up to date with this last weekend.

Friday we were dead at work, and it also coincided with opening day of dove season so we closed down. I made a trip to the Lowes for more tile. I think I got a bit much but at only 68 cents per foot ten cases only cost $117. What is left over from the kitchen will be used in the laundry room. I had ripped up all the tile already and got down to laying tile the right way. I measured and double checked my reference lines at for at least 2 hours before actually laying my first tile. At that point I checked again a few times to make sure it was all good. So I ripped up 36 feet and layed 32 feet. Not quite back to square one but at least this wouldn't need to be ripped up again. I finished pretty late and packed up my tools and gear for the lease but decided to leave in the morning instead of driving late at night.

I got up bright and early on Saturday and was out the door and rolling before sunrise. 2 hours later I'm parked at the lease and all by myself. Everyone was hunting at a place about half an hour away so I got to work by myself. It was pretty dry at the lease this year (heck it was dry everywhere in Texsa this year) so we didn't have to mow much around the cabin. I got the weed whacker and whacked weeds, grubbed mesquite trees, and cleaned up the place a bit.

My brother inlaws and myself went to fill feeders and that wasn't such an ordeal. Funny enough, this could only happen to me at the lease (where I have been bitten or stung by something every opening weekend of dove season) I put my hand in my pocket and swear to GOD I had a bee sting me on my ring finger.

After a quick lunch we cleaned up a bit more around camp, then shot some skeet. I think the optimal phrase would be shot AT some skeet. I didn't do too bad, getting about 1 out of 3 shots. Then we loaded up and went to the field. I didn't get any birds, but didn't shoot much either. Slow day. We ate at the Bar B Q Barn, as is tradition, its almost like hunters communion with us.

After an night of sleeping on a lumpy futon (which felt like a feather bed as tired as I was) we had breakfast and rolled out to move a blind and feeder. My brother inlaw decided to locate the blind in the most inhospitipal location on the lease. I'm talking cactus, mesquite, rocks, cedar... In other words, a fantastic location for hunting. We all ended up with multiple cactus and mesquite thorns in our arms, hands, legs, and feet. All said and done, we picked up a 12 foot tower blind with a 5 foot box on top of it, put it on a trailer, moved it about 1000 yards, cut a road, put it back on its feet, anchored it, moved in a feeder, cut a road for it, cleared a few shooting lanes, and were done by lunch time. Oh yeah, we're good.

So that evening the birds didn't fly at all, I didn't shoot even once. Disappointed and tired I headed for home. I HAD to stop in Clyde for a Whataburger. Its a tradition, but it was kinda sad because I usually have my brother in law and father in law with me. Oh well, drove through some fantastic rain and was home at 10pm.

Monday it was raining constantly (yeah!) and I took Mary to the Cracker Barrel for breakfast. When we got home I laid out more tile that had to be cut, marked it, and promptly left it alone. It was one of those rainy days where you don't want to do anything, so I didn't.

Tuesday I felt bad about skipping work on the house on Monday so I came home and got right to work. I laid tile like a fiend! I was in the zone! I wasn't finished unil 1AM! CRAP! Yeah, it was a very long day today, and when I got home I finished up the last of the tile in the kitchen. Not bad I must say...




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